Have your mind and body ever felt stuck? Have you ever stopped your usual everyday self-care practices due to feeling too overwhelmed to actually address what’s happening? Have you ever experienced symptoms in your being and even signs around that are telling you something needs to be changed?
You follow every nudge, intuitively and otherwise, showing you the direction which will take you to the “prize” in the middle of the maze.
Finally, sequentially, the revelation begins to unfold.
Something you thought you had faced. You had. It just needed to be holistically handled. What does that even mean? It means this particular trauma induced wound was ingrained into parts of you which you have looked into, layer by layer, and now you are ready to face the furnace laying at the core of the dark abyss.
Seven years ago, I experienced a violation that caused physical scars. The kind that have shown up at times, a reminder. Scars that have held deeply imbedded emotional/psychological wounds with them. Seven years on and I realised: I had not fully forgiven, resentment was still being carried, the resulting mental patterns were affecting my ability to receive the love I desire and deserve.
So I sat with this.
They will tell you that “healing is not linear.” The truth of this statement is that there are so many layers existing making you who you are, i.e. each body of your existence, that each layer experiences the ripple effect of your life events. And it is each layer that will require your attention to fully heal.
Of course, there are layers which cannot be seen to the physical eye, there are layers which might not even come into your awareness, all layers are changing so too will the shifting of your makeup. Especially in a society where you are taught to hold so many roles for so many reasons. The shift of self is continuous. This is something you can become intentional with.
Forgiveness requires your conscious mind to release the feelings within you which were caused by the harm caused by another. This process actually has little to do with them and they do not even need to be a part of this. From my experience this includes those times where they have taken zero accountability and shown no remorse. Forgiveness has everything to do with releasing the trauma held within every layer of your being - liberating yourself from these shackles.
Unfortunately, there are events that have taken place all over this world and across peoples lives which bear deep dark shadows. This post is not excusing anything or suggesting you “should” always forgive.
If you are in a position on your journey where you feel you want to operate from forgiveness, then I wholeheartedly support your decision to embody unconditional love for self as you do this. Because that is something which will be required, something that will help you endlessly through all the tears and emotions. Your unconditional love of self is something you deserve. As is the true hearted and pure intended love of another.
Jyoti 🤍